Wake Up
by LayD
Summary: Dreams, giggles, pig-tails, pancakes and a little girl that reminds him of someone. What's going on with Harvey? Dreams and thoughts get a man thinking about his life or lack of it. (I'm not a writer, so take it easy on this Suits newbie)
1. Chapter 1

**I OWN NOTHING **

**NOT A WRITER - TAKE IT EASY :)**

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><p>Double doors push open and little feet rush into the large master bedroom. The room is empty expect for a large king size bed that is directly in the middle and the man sleeping on it. The walls are new, with fresh white paint and there are no window coverings so the sun shines intensely through the large windows.<p>

She runs and stops at the foot of the bed, there's a short struggle to get up but she was given direct orders to wake him up right away. When she finally makes it, he doesn't budge. She crawls up to him and sits on his chest to face him. Slowly, she starts pulling his eyelids up.

"Daddy, Daddy, wake up!"

He wakes up instantly, breathing heavily and in shock. He has no idea why there's a little girl staring at him, with a sweet giggle. A million questions run through his mind. Where is he? Who is this little girl? Where did she come from? Whose bed is he in? Why is he here? How did he get here? Where are her parents?

His breathing is still uneven but he takes in her appearance in for a brief minute. There was something oddly familiar yet puzzling at the same time. She had long, auburn brown hair that was neatly parted into pigtails, bright, greenish-brown eyes and skin of a porcelain doll that could quite possibly only rival one other person. He shakes the ridiculous thought out of his mind. He's a lawyer; he talks for a living, asks questions to get answers and closes.

"Who are you?" he asks her.

"I'm me" she replies.

"Me, who?" he asks again.

She laughs and responds, "don't be silly Daddy."

"What did you just call me?"

"Daddy".

"I'm not your Dad, kid," he says looking like a dear caught in the headlights.

This only causes her to laugh her sweet laugh even more.

"You don't know me and I don't know you" he states matter-of-factly.

"Yes I do, you're my Daddy".

"What's my name then" he asks her.

"Your name is Harvey, duh!"

"Duh!" He repeats the way she says it and that earns him another laugh.

"What's your name then" he tests her.

"Hannah Specter" she says and proceeds to spell it proudly.

He stares at her blankly, feeling something he can't explain.

"How old are you" he tries again.

Hannah proudly holds up 3 fingers, then quickly mentions "and a half".

"You're smart" he tells her.

"Yeah, I get it from Uncle Mike" she says more than happily to his dismay.

"Where is your Mom?"

"Mommy just took Ethan to the dentist"

"What's your Mom's name" he has her with this one, time to end this little game he thinks.

"Mommy's name is Mommy, you silly bunny" she stated as if it was the only answer to give.

"Mommy said to wake you up and get you to make pancakes right now or else."

"Or else what" he began to question, a laugh coming to him this time.

"Just or else, come on let's just go make pancakes, I'm hungry Daddy".

He sighed; the best closer in New York can't even get answers from a tiny, 3-year-old girl with pigtails and pink fuzzy pajamas. He was officially going crazy it, getting old or both.

She jumps off the bed, runs out the room and down the hall. He can hear her carefully making her way down a set of stairs. He figures he can do some exploring around the house and find out what was really going on and whom this child really belonged to. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he made his way down the stairs trying to take in anything that would piece together this crazy morning. But nothing, he couldn't find anything. There were boxes everywhere in the living room. Furniture was wrapped up in protective padding and not one picture was hung up on the walls.

He thought maybe he could leave, sneak out the house without her knowing, but a wave of guilt flew over him. Hannah was obviously comfortable with him and he couldn't leave her home alone.

He finds her in the kitchen, sitting on the floor, eagerly waiting for him.

"Daddy hurry up" she said impatiently and began to pout, a pout he knew he had seen somewhere else. He kneels down to look at her "so pancakes, huh?" he can't even remember the last time he made breakfast beyond coffee.

He definitely knows how to make pancakes though. He made them all the time when he was younger, a little older than the girl in front of him. Every Saturday he would get up early and help his father in the kitchen, they would make a large family breakfast to start the weekend off right, more than enough food for a family of four. That was before things went to hell with his parents. He only shared that story once.

He spots a note on the fridge and swoops in to pick her up off the floor. She lets out squeal as he tosses her in the air, catches her and walks over to the other side of the kitchen. As he carries her he can't help but think that she feels so tiny in his arms. A smile makes it to his face as she cuddles into his embrace. He recognizes the handwriting on the note immediately. It's neat and tidy with clean lines, so very her. Every "t" crossed and every "i" dotted. He reads it over and over.

_Specter,_

_About time you wake up, lord knows I tried before letting Hannah do it!_

_Took your son to the dentist, bad timing but its the only appointment available._

_We'll be back around 1._

_Fed your daughter, she wants pancakes - make extra!_

_Movers will be here with the rest of boxes at 11._

_Since you fell asleep last night, let's "celebrate" the new house tonight?_

_-D_

He was married to Donna? They have children together? He doesn't have his condo but a house in the suburbs? Was he even a lawyer anymore? When did this all happen? Was he really was in a twilight zone or was this real? Maybe he hit is head somewhere. Harvey was clueless. He didn't know what to do. Maybe he could figure things out when Donna got back. She would give him the answers he needs and sort this out. She always knew what to do.

In the meantime he and Hannah would make their breakfast. If Hannah wanted pancakes, the girl would get her pancakes. He had a feeling this little girl already had everyone around her wrapped around her finger and would cause serious trouble for boys in her teenage years.

He ended up getting all the ingredients and unpacking some of the pots and pans they needed. A feeling of nostalgia took over him. He couldn't relive his childhood but he would definitely make this a fun for her. Thirty minutes later, with flower and batter everywhere they finally sat down to eat their pancakes. She dived right in; he looked at her and laughed in pure joy.

He was amazed that she could actually be his. There was no doubt she was a smart kid with a quick wit. He could definitely see it now. Minus the reddish undertone in her hair brown everything else was identical to her mother. Ivory skin, the bright eyes, a delicate nose, the long fingers, but her smile, that was a Specter smile. That was all him, this little girl had his trademark and he realized that he was more than willing to share.

As they ate and she chatted away, much like Donna he mussed. Half the things she talked about he had no clue what it was, but she was so passionate about it that he just wanted to keep her taking just so he could listen. They cleaned up and the movers came and delivered the rest of the boxes just as Donna mentioned.

It wasn't quite 1pm yet so they crawled back into bed and she made him watch Frozen with her on his laptop. Within minutes sleep took over both of them. She was at the end of a sugar rush mainly from all the maple syrup he let her have and he was out from pure exhaustion of the morning.

"Harvey!" he heard his name.

"Harvey, wake up". His name was being called and its getting louder and louder.

"Harvey, come on" he feels someone playfully tugging on his shoulder.

His eyes open and he squints to adjust to the bright light. A feeling of deja vu washes over him. He doesn't know what is real anymore.

"Hey, you're back, what did the dentist say about Ethan, Hannah and I made pancakes, there's extra in the kitchen, movers came." Harvey all but says in one fast breath.

He was rambling; talking to fast and nothing was making sense so Donna just looks at him like he has grown two heads.

"I leave to go out for lunch and come back to you asleep at work, on your couch, in the middle of the day? What's wrong with you Specter? Something keeping you up at night? Getting old?" a smile curving on her lips.

Harvey has to do a double take. He's not in the large, oversize, comfortable bed he was in. He's in his office. An innocent little girl with a bright smile that he was greeted with before doesn't greet him. Instead he see's Donna standing over him with an amused look on her face. He take takes her in; he looks at her like he's never seen her before. He looks at her more carefully and appreciatively than he's ever looked at another woman and he swears he can see Hannah.

"Who are Ethan and Hannah and what about movers and pancakes?" she asks confused.

He just blinks at her.

"You must have been dreaming about something good, I heard you laughing". He continues to stares at her.

"Okay I'm going back to my desk, you're creeping me out Specter, did you fall and hit your head somewhere?"

He releases a breath he didn't know he was holding and grabs her hand almost studying it.

"You ever had a dream that you didn't want to wake up from or you weren't ready for it to be over?"

"Yeah once in a while, usually involves me and a pair of Jimmy Choo's", she smiles sarcastically.

"That was the first one that I wasn't ready to wake up from yet, I wanted it to continue" he smiles but she can see a little disappointment in his eyes.

"What was it about, wait do I want to know?" She questions.

"No, it wasn't anything that you're thinking, get your head out the gutter Paulsen, far from it actually." He says almost longingly.

"Besides, I only have those kind of dreams about you". He flashes her a smile and gives her a suggestive wink.


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the day finishes without a fuss. There is no pressing case to work on, client to close, or court to attend, just paperwork which Harvey wickedly hands half to Mike and splits the other half between Donna and himself.

He sits at his desk, finished his portion a long time ago; he's positive Donna was finished her portion long before that. He decides to call it an early night and tells everyone to pack up and head out.

Mike sets out to surprise Rachel with dinner.

Donna mentioned earlier about a new yoga class she's wanted to try but never had the time. He jokes and tells her to "send me a picture of you in your yoga pants." She one-ups him and says, "maybe I'll stop by in my yoga pants and you can see for yourself". He slightly mentions that she's more than welcomed to stop by anytime and that she should use the spare key she has.

He decides to head home; he's not really in the mood for company or to stay out and entertain another nameless, faceless woman tonight.

While in the car on the way home, Ray and him settle into their usual "non work-related banter" its only: Yankees, Knicks, Giants, cars, the new house Ray's wife want to buy out in Queens and his kids.

This evening Harvey finds the usual talk a little more appealing. He finds himself listening more attentively while Ray talks about his family. All three kids are all doing very well in school. His oldest daughter is in a school play. He makes a mental note to mention that to Donna tomorrow, she'll no doubt call Ray right after and offer her congratulations. The little one wants to be Princess Jasmine for Halloween, Harvey can't help but smile at that comment and his boy is playing basketball this year for the junior team. While he can't see Ray's face from the angle that he's sitting, he knows that by the way his driver and good friend is speaking there's a definite smile on the mans face.

Ray continues and Harvey takes a moment to think to himself. Would this be what his life would be like if he had kids? He wasn't even sure if he wanted them in the first place. Yes, he had the money and could offer his kid the best of everything materialistically, a far cry from his own childhood. But did he want that? Did his lifestyle suit children?

He closes his eye and leans back into the headrest. A familiar image comes to his mind again. He can't help but see her, pigtails, pink pajamas, fuzzy bunny slippers and his smile. He thinks for a minute, maybe this was his biological clock ticking. Do men even have those?

"Get a grip Specter, get a grip". He repeats over and over.

He arrives home. Tells Ray to take the rest of the night off and head home early to his family. He grabs a beer, deciding to switch it up from the regular Macallan 18 and plops down on his sofa. He laughs to himself when a commercial for at home yoga DVDs comes on. He sends a quick text to Donna "hope you made your class, waiting for my picture".

He feels like a million thoughts are running through his mind and yet nothing makes sense. He thinks he could be a good father if he's half as what his father was to him and Marcus. He is name partner at a top New York law firm; he could definitely work around his schedule and not miss anything important like plays or basketball games. He was pushing 40 but still very much in his prime. He could have any woman he wanted. He was a catch, tall, dark and handsome so why didn't he already have it all? Hell, he didn't even have a woman in his life long enough to entertain the idea of wanting it.

So where did this little family with Donna come from? He'd never be able to live it down if she knew about his dream and the thoughts he was having after. He feels drained mentally. He wanted to stay in because he was tired, the little nap he had earlier had made him feel more exhausted.

He closes his eyes shorty after and drifts off again…


	3. Chapter 3

That night his dream wasn't like the one he had earlier. No little girl running around, driving him crazy, no note on a fridge and no imaginary family.

This time he dreams solely of her.

Of her and a wedding.

He's at the front the church; waiting for her to make her entrance, the one he knows she's dreamed of. He of course looks like his normal, dashing self; for this occasion he chooses to go with a clean, crisp, new suit instead his traditional tuxedo.

She had insisted on a small, intimate ceremony of family and friends. This had made everyone laugh when she first told them about her plans. They were all expecting her wedding to be a grand, over the top, lavish affair. She switched it up and kept them on their toes, again. She delivered on her plan and they got beautiful, understated elegance instead.

Before she enters, he knows her dress will be ivory, not the classic white most brides go for. She isn't most brides. He remembers her saying that ivory looked better with her skin tone.

He told her once that she "can make anything look good".

She lets out a little laugh "smooth, Specter, smooth".

Her ring is what he assumed she always wanted. It definitely cost a pretty penny. It's large, flashy and definitely an eye catcher, but not something over the top. He heard her telling Rachel that she "wanted something she can be proud to wear everyday and not have to take off to type up long case notes".

He watches as everyone filters in and takes a seat around him. Next to him is Mike and he can see Jessica and Louis in the second row with more of her family.

The doors close, music starts and they open again.

The flower girl is her five-year-old niece. Pretty in pink and happily laying rose pedals on the ground. She gets a delighted squeal from everyone.

Rachel follows next, she looks beautiful as can be, Mike can't help but beam when he see's her walking down the isle.

When the doors open again, everyone stands.

His breath is taken away.

Her father leads her down the isle; he can see a tear coming out of the older man's eye. He can see that she's trying to not let her own tears fall. Her make up is simple. She doesn't go for the dramatic look during the church portion. He knows she's saving that for the reception.

Her hair, longer than he imagined, loose wavy, curls that fall over her shoulder. It's a radiant colour. Maybe it's the way the light shines on her from the stained glass windows. He can only describe it as "autumn sunshine".

Her dress fits like a glove, hugs every curve. Something straight out of a Kleinfeld bridal magazine but there's no doubt in his mind that it was made only for her. It looks delicate and is made of vintage lace. There is no puff and sparkle that most would assume her with. This is no princess dress, this is a woman who was waiting for this day to come since she was in elementary school, she wanted it be to timeless.

Her eyes catch his; she beams and gives him a knowing smile.

He knows things will change after today. Work will change, priorities will change and they will change.

When her and her father make it to the front, she hands her bouquet to Rachel as her father lifts her veil to give her a kiss goodbye and lowers it again.

Then he takes her hand and joins it to the man that had been standing at the front of the congregation the entire time.

Harvey is at the front, but sitting in the first row of the church.

He watches his best friend, the only person that truly knows him, his fireball of secretary, life planner, banker, personal shopper, scheduler, his Girl Friday, wing woman, the only person he would go out of his way for, the woman he dreamed of having a family with and possibly the only woman he's ever truly loved, marry another man.

Harvey makes up with a hand to his chest. Breathing heavily, feeling like his heart had been ripped out of his chest.

He glances at the clock on the wall, and realizes that it's only 11:35pm. He had fallen asleep on the couch with the TV on in the background.

His phone lights up on the table beside him.

Five missed called, four from Mike and the last one from her.

Then he see's the cheeky missed text message.

[Was going to pass by and maybe model the yoga pants…but I guess you're busy "entertaining", another time Specter]

He messages back, knowing it's late. [I'm home, feel asleep. You can still send me the pic that I asked for. Better yet come by?]

[You wish! I'm already home and in bed] she replies back after a couple minutes.

He replies right away, a smile on his face. [In bed, hmmm…what are you wearing?]

[We aren't playing this game, goodnight Harvey] he reads with a laugh.

[Oh almost forgot, Mike called me 5 times, he's been trying to get a hold of you, call the puppy back please, maybe then he'll leave alone] she sends right after.

[On it Boss! Sweet dreams, see you bright and early]

He returns Mike's calls. It's nothing important, the kid wanted to go out for pizza and beer since Rachel was still busy studying. Typical Mike fashion.

Before she falls asleep she sends him a picture like he requested. Not of tight yoga pants but of her in her bright, neon pink, fuzzy socks captioning it "feeling really sexy tonight".

He laughs out loud and thinks of the last time he remembers seeing pink, fuzzy bunny socks and with matching slippers.


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of the night passes by and he doesn't sleep.

Truth is he doesn't really want to sleep. He can't stand the thought of another dream where he was losing her.

He spends the rest of the night reflecting.

From afar he's a man that has everything; a dream career, one in which he had become name partner faster than anyone expected. He has more money than he knows what to do with half the time. Lives in an amazing penthouse that oversees a concert jungle. Fast cars available at the snap of his finger and beautiful women that would be more than willing to please him night after night. He notices a trend; they're always tall, leggy blondes or brunets, never a red head.

He sits alone with his thoughts and that was becoming a dangerous thing. Career, money, cars but yet something is missing.

He thinks back to a conversation he had with his father shortly after he came up with the brilliant idea that he would go to Jessica and convince her that he needed his own secretary. That he wouldn't work for her if she didn't take on Donna as well. It was a packaged deal, two for the price of one.

His father called shorty after to say that he was proud of the decision to leave Cameron and the DAs office. Their conversation slowly drifts to Donna, it always does. He knows his father purposely does it to rile him up. But he plays along because it makes his father happy and even though he isn't a religious man himself, lord knows Gordon Specter deserved some form of happiness.

"Enough about you, how's my girl doing?" His father says casually.

"She's coming with me to Pearson Hardman." He says confidently.

"Does she know about this?"

"Not yet, I just had an idea."

He fills his father in about the talk he plans to have with Jessica. There's a moment of silence on the line then a small laugh

"She's going to kick your ass you better tell her about this plan of yours and fast."

"I know."

"You're doing all of this for you and for her does that mean you plan on coming to your senses soon?"

"Dad."

"Seriously, Harvey."

"Dad."

"She's a gem."

"I know."

"Do you?" Gordon continues before he can get a word in.

"You keep parading all your random female conquests in front of her, you might think its harmless and all fun and games but one day she's going to have enough and".

He doesn't let up, it keeps coming.

"and she's going to want to move on, start a life for herself and not just be your friendly secretary. Someone will come along and sweep her off her feet before you know it. You need to realize you need her a lot more than she needs you, my boy".

"Dad, enough! Donna and I are friends, we have a great working relationship, and nothing else, she's made sure of that." Harvey says defensively.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing Dad, never mind."

"All I'm saying is you that have this beautiful, smart woman in front of you, who isn't afraid to go toe-to-toe and call you out on your BS. For the life of me I don't know why you can't get your head out of your ass".

"Why don't you make a move on her then?" He says jokingly.

"Trust me, if I was your age and had your looks, I would have closed that deal a long time ago, I love that girl!"

"I'll let her know when I see her."

"Be my guest but she already knows. I tell her every time we talk, just before she puts my call through to you, Gordon Specter doesn't waste time"

"Well I'll leave you to enjoy your little musings about Donna, I got work to do, old man."

"Okay, talk to you later kiddo."

"Bye Dad."

"I love you Harvey, but…"

"Yeah, yeah I know. You love Donna more."

A smile makes it to his face as he remembers. He misses his father terribly; he never took the time to grieve properly. He had been so busy working, trying to make a name for himself that he forgot about the man whose name he carried.

Gordon Specter was a good man, he had his flaws but he always tried to be a great husband and an even better father. Harvey wishes that they had more time. He would give anything for his father to see his name, their name up on the wall.

He can't help but think what would happen after he was gone. Would anyone mourn for him? Who would wish that he were still here? Would anyone speak of him in such high regard as he does with his father?

Reality hits him hard. He has no one.

He's been so busy trying to make a life, make a name for himself that he wasn't really living at all.

His fathers' words come back to haunt him to his core.

"You keep parading all your random female conquests in front of her" that's exactly what he had been doing for years. Countless woman. They have no substance and he's no saint. He used them for entertainment and to keep his bed warm.

The one woman he ever truly wanted, put limits on them a long time ago. He thinks of the one night they had and longs for it. One night, she was his and he was hers.

He just hopes she gives him a chance after all he's put her through. He spent too much time and wasted money on women who could never measure up to her. He realizes she is his touchstone. She is the woman he compares every woman that came into his life to. He knew he could never fully trust Scottie, not the way he blindly trust her. Zoe had come close but close would and could never the real thing. Donna would always be his standard.

He would figure this out, he just didn't know how. He just knows he's tried of playing games and wasting time. Maybe he does want a wife, the house, two kids and SUV because there's no way in hell he would ever drive a mini-van. Maybe he is finally growing up, only took around forty years.

It's nearly 6am when he realizes it's always been her. He said so in front of Jessica all those years ago without realizing. It would always be packaged deal for him, all or nothing.

He starts by making sure he makes into work early that morning and leaves her favourite latte on her desk. He knows it not much, but it's a start and step forward for him. His father said someone would "come in and sweep her off her feet", many men have tried, all have failed he knows that if she gives him this chance he would never let her down again.


End file.
